sobre los cariños- en ingles porque se me canta y porque tiene que ver con vos

I know I shouldn't write in english but sometimes I can explain myself better this way, I feel kind of confortable in this language, it's feel safer, like If I can find the words to describe a feeling easier.

Ours is not a common friendship. Actually I don't believe is a friendship at all but somehow, and I don't know why I feel we connect. i know that is not true because we have tried (or at least we tried to try) but it didn't work out. I feel like there is something that I like about you but I cannot find what it is.

Now you tell me you are leaving and I'm not sad, altough I know this is like we called it quits because I'm pretty much sure we will never see each other again. I know that more sooner than later I will get trough your existence and probably, not forget completely about you, but yes I'll not feel the need to have you in my life.
This happens to me a lot. I'm not to good in letting people go. At those times I think that my world changes completely when the people that left me are not around but let's face it, you have not been that much around, ours was a weird relationship, based in a couple of meetings every year and a few emails.

But, oh what emails and meetings!, you made me laugh and I was fascinated with the ability of seeing how you grew more comfortable with me in every meeting, in every mail. I loved that, it made me feel good, like you where able to be yourself around me and that you where letting me be myself around you, and that was cool because it felt easy and confortable and slow and warm.

When people leave me I feel bad, then, I turn around and realize that I still have so many great people around and that they will complement what you were bringing to me. So it's like I don't need you and I know it sounds awful but its the true. You need people but nobody is irreplaceable. Many people will come and go but only the ones that really needs you and that you really need will remain.

I would like that you would think that you need me in your life, right now I still feel I'll need you in my life but I know you don't need me ( because if you would, you would probably do something about it and you won't) and I know I will not need you.

What I'm trying to say, it's hard to understand, even for me and all of this is in my head. I would love not to think like this but well...its call self preservation. I will not suffer with your lost, I don't want to, so, I'll get over you as soon as possible. You were, and right now you still are a good -some kind of- friend and before I'll let you go I want you to know (although you'll never read this) that I kind of care about you. I don't know why because I don't know you that much but I know I care about you and for some time I'll miss you.

I hope, once our roads don't cross anymore, that you have a wonderfull life, the one that you deserve, because for many reasons, you do. It was nice to meet you and it was all my pleasure to do so.